Through the Pain and the Tears
by calin-durus
Summary: Where did this go wrong? How could she do this to us? Sure we were having our problems but I never thought she had considered this" ONESHOT BxE RATED M FOR LANGUAGE AND LEMON smut AH/AU/OOC
1. Chapter 1

**This idea hit me while listening to the radio, there are some lyrics from the PCD Song "I hate this part" (which inspired some of it). **

**WARNING!!!! There is a lemon/smut part. If you don't like that kind of stuff please do not read this I will understand! Also it's my first of this nature so if you do read it please let me know what you like or dont :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of twilight, nor to I own the rights to the Maroon 5 song "Won't go home with out you".**

* * *

I've been in love with him for ten years, since the first day we met, I knew I would marry him. And six years ago, I did. We had five wonderful years of marriage. Even have a beautiful five year that is equal parts of us joined together for one loved soul.

But that all changed at a holiday party for his firm last year.

This last year had been nothing but shouting, tears, and heart ache.

All because I got jealous of a girl. I couldn't help it. Seeing him with his arm wrapped casually around her waist while they whispered to each other just made me drink more.

And the more I drank, the angrier I got. I never should have let my emotions take over the night in the car.

He told me I was being absurd. He swore he loved me and only me, and that Elizabeth and I meant the world to him, that no other woman could ever become between us. That his world would cest to exist if we were taken from him.

That was before the deer jumped out in front of the Volvo; before, after hours of tears and prayers, we were told that our little girl would only be able to hear with the aid of a device. And then as if we hadn't had enough, the child I was carrying – much to mine and Edward's surprise – was lost to us do to the wreck.

I hate this part, the part where he blames himself and the tears fall from his glorious green eyes. He says if only he kept his anger in check, kept in his eyes on the road; he would have seen the stag in the road earlier. He would have been able to prevent all of this and kept from over correcting on the icy December roads.

But it's not his fault. If any one is to blame it's me. I let my insecurities take over that night, and instead of listening to my husband, I accused him. I forced him to react; I crashed our world around us.

It had been a little over a year now, and I can't do this anymore. Every time we try to talk about it, we wind up yelling at each other and saying words that we don't mean. It's been a year of a love less marriage. A love that once could rival any of those written by William Shakespeare or Jane Austin, turned to a year of nothing.

I used to love the little kisses in the morning, the soft touches at night when he would say hello after work. And most of all the love I would feel from when we made love. He had the ability to make me weak at the knees with just a look. But even that was gone.

Tonight would be different. Tonight, I am going to tell him how much it hurts, how much I need him, or it's over.

"Auntie Izzy!" I hear a voice from the living room, alerting me to the arrival of my sister-in-law Alice. I go to find my niece Ashley signing to Elizabeth about her day.

"Hey Bells" Alice says giving me a soft hug.

"Thanks for taking Lizzie." I hand Alice Elizabeth's overnight things, and an extra battery for her hearing device.

"It's no problem. You know how much Ashley and Jackson love their cousin. Jax is excited to show her the new songs he and Jazz got for Rock Band." She chuckled. She looked at me sadly; she knew what tonight was coming down to. "It'll work out Bella. I know he still loves you as much as he did the day he asked you to marry him, if not more. My brother is stubborn." She put a reassuring hand on my shoulder, and I nodded. Normally Alice was pretty insightful but this time I was betting against her. She and the rest of Edward's adoptive family, as well as my father's family; only saw the façade, the mask of a happy marriage.

Elizabeth ran up to me, her bronze colored curls bouncing around her. "I love you mommy" She says as she hugs my legs. I smooth her hair over her head, and bend down to kiss her forehead. "I love you too sweetie" I sign to her. She grabs her Cousin Ashley's hand and they are out the door heading for the car.

"Call me" Alice says as she leaves.

* * *

I can hear Edward come through the door. I am sitting at the dinning room table, wringing my hands together as I stare at the offending manila envelope. Edward steps over the threshold of the dinning room, one hand loosing his tie.

"Where's Lizzie?" He asks. Normally right before he enters the door, the house is full of her musical giggles. I know that is his favorite part of the day. Coming home to his little angel who is so happy to see her dad and teach him what she learned in class.

"Your sister has her. We need to talk, and I figured it was best to do it with out her here." I say softly. He nods, and heads for the liquor cabinet.

"Would you like a drink?" _At least he still acts like a gentleman_. I think bitterly as I shake my head no at him.

"I would rather this conversation be held with out the aide of liquid courage." He understands my meaning and grabs a bottle of water from the fridge.

He leans against the wall directly in front of me, motioning for me to talk.

"I can't do this any more Edward. I thought we were strong enough to handle this, but apparently I was wrong. I'm tired of fighting the inevitable."

"The inevitable…? And what exactly is that Bella?"

"I know you don't love me anymore, and I can't stay in a marriage that is not one of love."

"Why in the hell would you think I don't love you?"

"I can see it in your eyes Edward. Everything you say and do reflects it. I know we are only together for Elizabeth and I don't think its fair for her to watch us crumble."

"So you think the best thing is to run like Renee?! I'll be DAMNED if you think you are taking her from me!" he yelled at me. I took a shaky breath before I continued. I needed to know the truth.

"Are you fucking her?"

"WHAT?!"

"Are you fucking Tanya?"

"What in the hell does this have to do with Elizabeth?"

"I need to know. Are you having an affair with Tanya Denali?" I felt my self getting sicker each time he made me ask that.

"Jesus Christ Isabella! I don't know where in the world your thoughts are, but you are sadly mistaken if you think I have stepped out of the vows I made to you." He kicked the chair from the table, making me jump a little, but I wasn't backing down.

"How in the hell am I supposed to know Edward! IT'S NOT LIKE YOU TOUCH YOUR WIFE! EVER! YOU DON'T EVEN SLEEP IN OUR BED ANYMORE!" I screamed at him. He just stared at me and blinked.

"I've gone through this whole year, trying my damnedest to make you notice me, I've even let your sister play Barbie Bella, but you never notice! You don't hold me any more, you don't kiss me, you don't tell me you love me, and you sure as hell don't sleep with me, _you wife, _in our bed!" I watched him as he slid down the wall, his hands running through his hair.

"I'm doing us both a favor. I don't want anything from you but a promise that you will take care of Lizzie." I say through tears. I knew if I left Edward I could never take away Elizabeth. She was the only thing that made his eyes shine with happiness. I could tell she filled what ever void he had in his chest. I ripped open the envolpe and started signing the paper work.

"What are you doing?" I didn't answer him; I was looking for all the places Mr. Jenkins, the family attorney marked for me.

"ISABELLA MARIE MASEN!!! What are you doing?!" He yelled as he ripped the papers from me.

"I'm giving you an out Edward. You get everything, I'm just so sorry that I wasn't what you wanted, what you needed." I say softly as I head to our room.

As I close the door, I can hear the sound of glass shattering. I pull the bag I had packed earlier from under the bed and call my sister-in-law.

"Rosalie Hale"

"Rose…" I started but the sobs rack through me preventing me from talking.

"Oh Bells honey!"

"I signed it. I need to get out of here."

"I'm coming." I heard her pull the phone away. "Where in the hell is my idiot husband. EMMETT!"

"Rose, where are you?" I giggled a bit when I hear Emmett yell "cheater" in the background.

"Wal-mart" She huffs.

"What? Why?" I never thought I would see the day that she would go there.

"It's cheaper to by the things Kellen needs. The boy goes through stuff like no one's business! Hang on Bella" I can hear her telling Em that she needs to get me. And instantly I feel the sobs come back as I hear him cuss about his brother.

"I'll be there in ten Bells" Rose says.

* * *

Where did this go wrong? How could she do this to us? Sure we were having our problems but I never thought she had considered this.

I glared at the offensive paperwork willing it to catch fire. Or at least disappear.

How can I be losing my family again? First I lost my parents when I was seven, and now twenty years later I'm losing my wife.

It's not possible! This has to be some cruel joke. Please God tell me I passed out from too much whiskey again, and you're just showing me what could be happen.

I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose, willing the coming headache to go. I can hear our bedroom door open and close.

I look up just as she starts to pass me. Her eyes are red and swollen, silent tears falling down her beautiful face. What is she doing? I watch her as she removes the symbol of our love and devotion from her hand and places it on top of the divorce papers. _SPEAK YOU IDIOT!_ I yell at myself.

"Bella please…" I croak out.

"I don't know what you want anymore Edward. I'm tired of the hurting." She says. I grab her hand. Oh God has it really been that long since I held her soft little hand in mine?

"I want you Bella, I want my wife, our family." I felt the warm moisture on my own face.

"Funny way of showing it." She chuckles darkly as she rips her hand from mine.

What do I do? How do I fix this? I go to ask her, but she's gone.

I slam my forehead to the table. I can't live with out her. I can't lose her. But how do I fix this?

I reach for my phone and dial the number absently.

"Swan"

"Charlie… I need your help" The one person I knew could help me with this would be Bella's dad.

"What's wrong Ed?"

"Bella's left" I can hear him sigh. But a part of me can imagine his fingers twitching for the gun in his holster. He told me at the wedding if I ever hurt her, he'd would shot and ask questions later.

"Meet me at Sandy's." He says and hangs up.

* * *

I never thought I would see the day where Edward would be sitting in front of my crying over Bella. I know how he feels right now. I went through it with Bella's mother. And as much as I disliked the kid when he and Bella were dating, I found a respect for him. So to see him in front of me and my wife Sue is just heartbreaking.

I'm not a man of emotions. I never have been, and I guess that's what makes Sue my perfect half. As if she knew how uncomfortable I am, she slides closer to Edward in the U shaped both and cradles him in her arms, letting him cry on her shoulder, like a mother calming her scared child.

I look at the divorce papers again. Bella made it easy on Edward. She refused anything but her car. He was to get everything; full custody of Lizzie, the house, all assets in their name, everything.

I'm not surprised that she gave him custody to be honest. I believe that years of what her mother did to her made her think that it would be best for Lizzie to know her father.

I pick up the envelope to put the papers back and I notice a folded piece of paper. I pulled it out and see it's addressed to Edward.

"Here son" I hand it to him, and watch as he composes himself to read over the letter. I take a sip of my beer; suddenly my mouth feels like cotton.

Edward brushes his fingers against the paper as if feeling something that is written there, as new tears spill out of his eyes.

Sue glances at me, her eyes full of unshed tears. She must have read the note. I nod to her, and she gives Edward an encouraging hug as he hands the note to me. His eyes lock on mine and I know that he is giving me his silent consent to read it.

_Edward,_

_This by far is the hardest thing I have ever done. But I know that this is the only thing that can be done at this point. We have gone through a year of nothing but silence. Our love is locked somewhere behind a wall that is stronger then the Berlin wall and the Great Wall of China combined. I don't know how we ever got to the point where our love was no longer natural for us, but here it is. _

_I, of course, will never forget the love we shared. And I will always Cherish it. But the heart can be ignored for so long before it shrivels and dies. As my heart has done._

_I don't want anything from you in the divorce. All I want is for you to love Lizzie for the both of us, and when she asks why mommy left, I'm not sure what you can say to make it better, when the truth is I left. She may not understand now that the bond you two have is far stronger then I will ever have with her. But perhaps over time she will show to be as perceptive as you once called me, and understand that no matter what I loved her more then my own life._

_I will always call her, and see her. I'm not completely removing myself from her life. Just from yours. _

_And as much as it kills me that we had to come to this, I am grateful for the chance to love, and be loved._

_I love you forever._

_Bella_

"Jesus Christ. You need to go to her son! You still have the chance! She's giving you the chance by writing this!" I tell him. He shakes his head at me. "Do you love her?"

His head snaps up and I see a passion in his eyes. "More then my own life! I never stopped loving her Charlie. If anything my love for her got stronger."

"Have you told her that recently?" His head hung down defeated.

"Get your sorry ass out of this pub and tell your wife the God damned truth! Or so help me, you will find out what its like to be fresh meat on cell block D" I don't normally threaten like that but, damn it this kid needed at kick in the ass.

He nodded, giving Sue a kiss on the cheek, and slid out of the booth. Sue moved closer to me as he left.

"Take the lord's name in vain ever again Charles Swan and you will be living your own threats" she said softly before kissing me.

I love my wife.

* * *

After leaving Charlie and Sue, I immediately called my sister Alice. I had asked her first, how Lizzie was, then if Bella was there. She was confused by my voice and questions but informed me that last she knew Bella was with me. She of course showed concern over the news that Bella wanted a divorce, but her tone suggested that she knew that was a possible out come. Rather then trying to get it out of her, I moved on and called my brother.

"Dude! What did you do!" Emmett asked as he picked up.

"Fucked up royally"

"Yea no shit! Rose is on the war path man."

"Is she there?"

"Shit yea! Oh crap KELLEN! DON'T REPEAT WHAT I SAY" I had to laugh at my brother warning his ten year old.

"Can I talk to her?"

"You want to talk to Rose?!"

"No ass-wipe my wife!"

"She's not here, I thought you meant Rosie, and you know damn well that if she was here there is no way I would risk the wrath of Rose!"

I cringed. "That bad?"

"Hell yea! You made Bella want a divorce! Rose would wear my fucking balls for earrings if I crossed her." Oh God my brother could be so crude sometimes.

"Where is she? And I mean Bella"

"Rose said she wanted to stay at mom and dad's since they are out of town."

"Em, I owe you big man." I say as I slam the Volvo into reverse and spin around towards the other side of town.

"Win my baby sister back and we're even" He said as he hung up.

I arrived at my parent's house about ten minutes later, a drive that would have normally taken half an hour; and that included a stop at Leah Clearwater's floral shop for Gardenias.

I knew I could do this one of two ways. I could just simply go to her and say I fucked up I'm sorry I love you; but knowing my Bella, that won't work, so I opted for plan B.

I went inside the house and it was relatively dark and quiet. I listened and I could hear sobs coming from upstairs. Quietly I walked up to the second floor landing. The sobs were louder, and I knew exactly where she was. She was in my old room. _Perfect!_ I thought as I ran down the stairs.

Quietly I filled a vase with water placing the flowers in it and grabbed a piece of paper. I wrote…

_Bella, my love,_

_No words can express how truly sorry I am. But I want you to know that you have and will always have my heart. Keep it safe for it is only yours._

_I Love you and only you for ETERNITY!_

_Your friend, your lover, your husband,_

_Edward_

I placed the vase on the top of my piano, and placed the note in front where she could see it when she came down.

I lifted the lid up over the keys; silently praying to every deity that there was that this would work. As I looked down at my hands, my wedding band glimmered in the low light of the room.

_Shit! Her rings!_ I fished in my pocket and placed her band near the note. I was going to save her engagement ring to propose to her again.

Again I silently prayed as I started with the opening cords of the lullaby I had written her when we were dating. Praying that she would at least be interested enough to come out and see me, even if it's to slap me and tell me to burn in hell, at least that would be something.

I get about half way through the lullaby and I can see her out of the corner of my eye. I tried to keep my cool as she slowly walked to the piano. She had changed since coming here. She was no longer wearing her jeans and sweater, but instead she was wearing my old baseball jersey. I always loved to see her in it when we were in high school. And to see the woman she is now, wearing it, her bare long legs teasing me to touch them, was cracking my resolve to make sure I get my point across.

I watched her as she stepped even closer to the Gardenias. She was biting on her bottom lip, a sign that she was contemplanting. I prayed she would pick up the letter and read it. I watched her, willing her hand to reach out to it. And almost as if I had jedi skills, her hand reached out, but to lightly touch the flowers, tears streaming down her cheeks. I wanted to reach out and wipe and kiss away her tears. But I had to do this right. I had to do right by her.

Finally she took the letter and started to read it. I slid to the left on the piano bench, silently letting her know she can sit with me. And much to my relief, she sat next to me while she read.

I played the last cord of her lullaby just as she folded the note back up, resting it in her lap. After taking a deep breath she looked at me, opening her mouth to say something, but I shook my head. I wasn't done.

I started to play the opening cords to a song that I knew she loved. She often would sing loudly to it when it was on the radio or her mp3 player; most of the time when she thought I wasn't listening. And tonight the CD was in my stereo, and as if a sign the song started playing. I knew this would be the one to help me tonight.

Looking into her eyes I saw the recognition in them. I knew she knew the song. So I started singing it to her.

_I asked her to stay but she wouldn't listen  
She left before I had the chance to say  
The words that would mend the things that were broken  
But now it's far too late, she's gone away _Every night you cry yourself to sleep  
_Thinking: "Why does this happen to me?  
Why does every moment have to be so hard?"  
Hard to believe that_

_It's not over tonight  
Just give me one more chance to make it right  
I may not make it through the night  
I won't go home without you_

_The taste of your breath, I'll never get over  
The noises that she made kept me awake  
Oh  
The weight of things that remained unspoken  
Built up so much it crushed us everyday_

_Every night you cry yourself to sleep  
Thinking: "Why does this happen to me?  
Why does every moment have to be so hard?"  
Hard to believe that_

_It's not over tonight  
Just give me one more chance to make it right  
I may not make it through the night  
I won't go home without you_

_It's not over tonight  
Just give me one more chance to make it right  
I may not make it through the night  
I won't go home without you_

_Of all the things I felt but never really shown  
Perhaps the worst is that I ever let you go  
I should not ever let you go, oh oh oh_

_It's not over tonight  
Just give me one more chance to make it right  
I may not make it through the night  
I won't go home without you_

She cut me off, throwing her arms around my neck and kissing me hard on the mouth. _Okay that was a better response then I was expecting._

I wrapped my arms around her waist pulling her closer to me. God I missed this, how could I have been such a fool? I was blessed to have this angel by my side and I almost lost it.

She moaned softly as her body crushed against mine. I took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. I moved my head slightly to the side, overwhelming my senses with her taste. I felt like an alcoholic who had been with out his favorite whiskey. She was intoxicating.

I felt her little fingers tangle into my hair, tugging it. I moaned, kissing down her neck. My tongue tracing patterns on her skin, I could feel her shiver slightly in pleasure.

"Edward" She whispered softly, pulling from me. I wrapped my arms tighter to her waist, afraid she was going to leave me.

"Don't leave me… please" I begged, fresh tears falling from my eyes. She put her hands on either side of my face, making me look at her.

"I'm sorry." She said softly. I could feel her brush the tears of my cheeks with her thumbs. The gesture made me smile a bit, thinking of all the times I had done the same thing to her.

"You have nothing to be sorry about love; I am the one that was the damned fool, the one that was a monster for the last year. I don't deserve you or your love. "

"Knock that shit off Edward Anthony. You know I hate it when you do that. Sure the last year wasn't what I thought it would be when I said my vows to you, but it happens." She shrugged at the last part.

"But I made you want to leave…" I said softly.

"And in the same night, you made me want to stay." She kissed me softly again. "I. Love. You. Always." She said in between kisses.

I let go of her and stood up. There was one last thing I needed to do before I knew things were going to be better. She looked at me, her beautiful brown eyes wide in panic.

I knelt down on one knee, her engagement ring in my hand. "Isabella Marie, I was a complete and utter fool for the last year, and unfortunately it took me almost leaving you and a threat from your father to make me realize just how much I was losing. I told you six years ago that I would love, honor, cherish and worship you, every day for eternity. And I refuse to break that vow, now or ever. I love you and I would be greatly honored if you were to agree to be my wife again."

What she did next I wasn't expecting. I don't think my ego was expecting it either. And I know my face wasn't.

She slapped me. Hard. Right across my face. Then again, I shouldn't be surprised. She never did what I expected.

"If you _ever_ make me consider divorce again, I swear on all that is sacred you will not live." And then she kissed me, hard and passionately, knocking me back onto the hardwood floor.

"Oww…" I mumbled against her lips as my head hit the floor hard. She giggled a bit.

"Did the slap hurt you?" She asked, kissing my cheek.

"No, the floor did." I pouted pathetically. "And you didn't answer me, so that kind of hurt too."

"Silly Edward, of course the answer is yes." She smiled and took the ring from me, and stood up. I watched her as she grabbed her wedding ring, and slipped both onto her finger. "Good night" She called over her shoulder as she headed up the stairs.

_Wait. What?_ I just laid there dumbfounded as she walked off. If she thinks this is over she is sadly mistaken!

"Where do you think you're going?" I called after her, taking the steps two at a time. I heard her giggle from my old bed room. I waited a few moments to let her think she won.

When I went into the room, she was a vision. She was lying in my bed, on top of the covers. My jersey was unbuttoned to just below her breasts, giving me a peak of the side of her left breast and valley between. Her hair was splayed across the pillow, framing her head in a perfect halo. And one leg bent, so that her left foot was flat on the bed, teasing me with a vision of her inner thigh.

* * *

I could tell by Edward's expression, he was not expecting me to be laying here, offering him myself like this. But damn it I went almost a year with out him touching me, or seeing his eyes darken in desire for me, and I wasn't about to go one more night with out it.

"Well Mr. Masen. Are you going to come to bed?" I asked nonchalantly.

"I'm not exactly tired yet, Mrs. Masen." He said as he licked his lip, slowly walking towards me. I bit on my bottom lip as I watched his hands work on the buckle of his belt.

"Then what would you like to do?" I asked, feeling moisture build between my legs at the thought of all the things we could do, and at the sight of his eyes raking over my body; lingering on my breasts, and thighs.

He was standing near the bed now. Licking his lips some more as he undid his pants. His hands slowly pushing them down so they would pool around his ankles. He kicked them off to the side, and pulled his shirt up over his head, taking it off and throwing it in the direction of his pants. _Oh dear God!_ I loved the sight of my husbands bare chest. He worked out but not enough that his six pack was defined, but enough that I knew it was there.

My eyes greedily took in the sight of his chest. Slowly tracing the lines that my fingers itches to touch, and my lips burned to taste; trailing lower to wear I could see his obvious arousal.

He leaned over me, holding himself up with his hands. His green eyes dark with a desire so strong, I felt my stomach muscles clench. He moved his lips to brush against mine.

"You" He stated simply and huskily as his lips crashed against mine. That one words almost made me come on demand. Almost.

His lips hungrily worked their way to my neck, as my fingers found his hair. I could feel him nipping at my flesh where my shoulder and neck met, making me moan softly. I wrap my left leg around his waist, pushing my hips into his. I need him. I want him now.

I slid my hands down his back, his muscles twitching at my touch; as he slides a hand down between us to undue the last remaining buttons of the jersey. My fingers dipped below his boxers, where I scratched my nails along the top of his firm ass.

He moaned into the flesh of my breasts, before latching onto my right breast. His tongue rolling around the erect nipple, teasing me and sending chills down my spine.

I felt his right hand caress my right breast and slowly work its way down to the hem of my panties. I silently thanked God that I took Alice's advice to leave clothes here, because I knew the minute he paid attention to my blue lacy boy shorts, he would lose control.

I gasped when I felt his fingers slide into me. Normally he takes his time, to rub my center before entering. His kisses moved down my body following the direction of his hand.

"God Bella… you're so wet" He said in between kisses, his fingers thrusting harder into me, while his thumb caressed my clit. All I could do is call out his name, I knew that if he continued this it would be over soon. A year is far to long to wait, and this wasn't what I needed.

Suddenly his hand was out of me. I propped my self on my elbows to see what was wrong. He was sitting on his knees, giving me his sexy croaked smile. He placed his hands on my hips, his fingers grabbing the waist band of my panties.

"You know I love this cut on you." He murmured as he kissed my waist, so that I felt his upper lip on my skin, and his lower lip on the fabric. "But in blue… That's just torture Isabella."

And before I could respond, he had the panties off of me, and had removed his boxers. I licked at my lips as I stared at his erection. It gave me a new wave of pleasure knowing that I was the reason he was as hard as he was. I reached for it, wrapping my fingers around him and stroking him. He hissed in pleasure.

"Bella, this is for you not me." He said gently removing my hand and kissing it. Screw the romance, I needed to fuck!

"No" I growled at him. He looked at me in surprise and I tackled him, pushing him onto his back so his head was hanging of the foot of the bed. I kissed him forcefully, as I straddled him, the head of his erection barely touching my entrance.

"You made me wait a year for this Edward Anthony Masen; I'm not fucking waiting anymore!" I demanded as I bit in to his shoulder, slamming myself on to him. His hip bucked up into mine, as he groaned. I knew he loved it when I bit him and swore in the heat of the moment.

I lifted my self up so I was sitting on my knees, as I continued to bounce, up and down his entire length. He pulled himself up slightly to watch my tits bounce, his hands firmly on my hips, moving me faster, as his own hips rocked perfectly with mine.

"Fuck…Bella" He moaned and I knew he was close. Hell even I was close at this point. I leaned over to kiss him, and he took my lower lip into his mouth, sucking on it. I groaned, as I drove him deeper into me. He bit my lip, giving me what I wanted from the kiss, as I felt my walls tighten around him.

Just before my body was rocked with the pleasure of my orgasm, he flipped us over so that he was on top. He trusted into me one last time as the pressure that was building released its self. I heard him pant my name as his on pleasure over took him.

"Fuck" he panted, rolling off of me and pulling me close to him.

"If that's what make up sex is like, then we need to fight more." I joked and prayed he knew I was joking.

Thankfully he chuckled, and before kissing me said "Keep swearing in bed and biting me and you never know what you'll get"

* * *

A/N: There it is! My first lemon smutt thing lol... Took me four days to write it cause a- I have never had make up sex (much to my best friends chigrin! lol) and B- I got embarassed writing it.

I hope the switching of Bella and Edward wasn't confusing, I had to write it like that to make it flow. And what did you think of Charlie's POV? I kinda modeled that off of what my dad would do in that situation (they are so simular its not funny! okay maybe a little)

I'm still considering entering the steamy crossover contest... I've got an idea for a CSI with Bella and Edward, and Gone with the Wind with Jasper and Alice (my second favorite couple!)

Thanks for reading my longest one shot yet!

~*~Kristin~*~


	2. EXPLINATION OF EDWARD

Okay wanted clear up some things that I've realized could be confusing... lol

When I wrote the one shot, I had intended to leave out why Edward had acted the way he had. I wanted to leave it open for you the reader to inturpet as you saw fit.

I did leave some hints as to why he may have been so cold and distanct. 1- being (the Edward we all know and love) he felt responsible; it was his fault that Bella was jealous of tanya, his fault they fought, his fault for the accident, his fault that his little girl is now hearing impared, and his fault that they lost their un-born child. From what I gathered of Edwards origninal character from the books, he pushed him self into a self impossed punishment.

2 - Very early on, he showed a tendancy to have alcohol in a stressful situation (asking bella if she wants anything, and her having to say "talk with out the aide of liquid courage"), and even suggested that he may or may have not blacked out from drinking. (I've had a step dad that would drink into oblivion and never make it to bed...)

Now I'm not sayin that is what happened. In all honesty in my head, reasoning 1 suits best. Because he was so caught up in his quilt, he subsiquently pushed Bella away, thus making the past year the hardest they had ever faced as a couple, making her feel as if he didn't love her anymore.

I hope this cleared it up for you. :) Let me know if you have any further questions! I love when you all have theroies and questions :)

~*~Kristin~*~


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